CIVIL REVOLUTION: PURSUING FORGIVENESS - BUT SOMETIMES UNFOLLOWING

For this new world order to take root, we must be able to proclaim, explain, and demonstrate our love and compassion for each other through forgiveness. If we continue to harbor hatred and distrust, barriers will remain erect. Not forgiving imprisons us in the past and destroys potential for change. That being said, however, forgiveness does not mean that everyone will always be reconciled to each other. That is the ultimate goal, but both sides have to want to be in relationship, and sometimes that is not possible. Yet, even knowing that, “May we always be found weird for our ability to forgive those considered unforgivable... [But remember] There’s a difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. Reconciliation is a two-way street that requires the person who has sinned [wronged another] to be repentant and the person who was sinned against to be forgiving.”*

Video: Invictus 

 

Video: Forgiving Husband's Killers 

 

Reconciliation often begins with someone admitting they were wrong and asking forgiveness in the hope that healing and a new beginning, a new variety of humanity, will germinate, then flourish. “Behind every act of forgiveness lies a wound of betrayal, and the pain of being betrayed does not easily fade away…So wrong does not disappear when I forgive, it loses its grip on me.”* When that forgiveness is granted, the truth of Charles Dickens’ words will be seen: “No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.” And sometimes you can lighten your own load!

Unfortunately, we will encounter people who have no desire to be educated or learn why we believe and act the way we do. After we’ve banged our heads against the wall time and time again, we may need to distance ourselves from the people whose ears are plugged and eyes shut, people are mired in the pit of bitterness and hatred. Now, this does not mean that they are beyond hope of change. It just means that we might not be the specific change agent, the one used for cross-pollination. Or there might be a point down the road where a reconnect occurs, where the seed sown begins to germinate. Progress is difficult, if not truly impossible, if a desire to listen with humility is not occurring on both sides. Humility knows it is fallible, so it considers criticism and learns from it. I think Brad Stulberg, in The Growth Equation blog, sums up this balancing act well:

Life is too short for jerks. I strongly recommend that you ruthlessly purge them, both online and offline. But progress is going to be very hard if everyone who you disagree with—and perhaps even demonstrates occasional ignorance—is “cancelled.” It is important to separate these two groups: the jerks, and those with whom we simply disagree. Too often, we confuse them. We keep jerks around for too long and purge those with whom we disagree too quickly. Having an open mind means being willing to tolerate disagreement. Working for improvement means being willing to educate those who are ignorant. Neither requires you to accept people who are hateful. But perhaps you shouldn’t be so quick to deem someone hateful, beyond saving, in the first place… Perhaps the best we can do is hold these juxtaposed concepts at the same time. Life is too short for jerks. Life is too long to go around cancelling everything and everyone who offends you. The work is to be clear about what and who falls into each of those categories.  And then to be quick with the former and patient, even if doing so is hard, with the latter.**

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*Jared C. Wilson, Your Jesus is Too Safe, Grand Rapids, MI: Kregel, 2016

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 *Philip Yancey, What’s So Amazing About Grace?, Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2002, 85, 99

**Brad Stulberg, Cancel Culture Can Be, But Isn’t Always Dumb, https://thegrowtheq.com/cancel-culture-can-be-but-isnt-always-dumb/, accessed 6/20/20